Hello, Bark! I read your post and think, "This reflects a deep internal struggle between self-preservation and group-preservation." Your pain -- my pain -- is genuine. We can't ignore it. That pain is a sign something somehow is threatening our existence.

Now what do we do? We're humans -- social animals. Do we call for help from our fellows in hopes of saving ourselves, or do we judge ourselves in our wounded state as a threat to the group, and thus go off by ourselves to die or isolate ourselves and cope as best we can while not "infecting" the group?

I struggle with this. Maybe I don't struggle in the exact ways you do, but I struggle. Bark, you are posting for others besides yourself.