Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Mama
I hate to be the barrer of bad news, and if it is said nicely it is in your best interest. I have to agree w/ S4. You do seem a little analytical and maybe even just a little defensive. It's like you expect the worst and are planning on the worst. I know how you feel though. If things never go right and you always screw up it is hard to go into any situation w/ a smile. Now that might just be me, and totally not you.
I kinda have to have things slap me in the face to see them, again I am assuming this about you, but I know that, it is this way for me. Take this statement for example:
"I can't stress enough that I am active in clubs, organizations, etc., and if nobody believes me I can PM you a list of them."
There is nothing wrong w/ that statement but you seem to be trying to hard and killing it w/ insecurity. That kinda makes step back and say whoa. There is nothing wrong w/ mom but a girl might not be see you as a catch if your hangin w/ your mom at the pet store buying trantualla's. People at stores are paid to be nice and make sales.
I don't mean to tick you off and I hope that is not what I've done. Don't take what I have said to the bank for I to am friendless, except older people. Why do I have so much more in common w/ them then folks my age. I have zero social life. I feel like people just don't want to have anything to do w/ me. I may should have very well kept my mouth shut and my thoughts to myself but I to feel like you and so that makes me feel like it might be ok to share my opinion w/ someone who is in the same position.
I will not say you'll find someone some day or the right person is out there and you'll meet them eventually because that's what people tell me and it is so annoying, because some day could be when I'm 99. I don't have that long. Throw me a bone. I'd rather hear honesty. Even if it is mean, your hopeless or no wonder. I'd rather know. You are not hopeless or anything though.
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No worries
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Believe it or not, I don't expect the worst as much as I used to, although that's not because of new found confidence, I don't think. Now I feel more numb when I encounter a situation like been rejected; it happens so much that it is easier to deflect. I don't know how else to describe it other than being numb? I am more used to it now I suppose. Compared to previous rejections, it went much better than usual, to name a minor positive.
"If things never go right and you always screw up it is hard to go into any situation w/ a smile": Yes - that is exactly how I feel! I am never able to strike the right balance with things - always too much or too little of something.
How much trying is the right amount of trying? What does a 'catch' look like? How do I appear as a 'catch'? Reminds me of when I did reports for school - it wasn't uncommon for me to be marked down for
too much information and
too much research. Go figure.
Usually, I would think that a store employee is paid to be nice, but we chatted for 20 minutes last time? She told me where she's from (raise on a farm in a small town nearby), what kind of animals she has and what she likes, that she wants to move to another province, it seemed a lot more than the usual respectfulness of an employee. We were sitting in the back storage area and chatting.
Now I am trying to feel okay being alone 24/7. Another user said she was fine with it. Maybe I can learn too?