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Originally Posted by Mr. Venomous
No worries  .
Believe it or not, I don't expect the worst as much as I used to, although that's not because of new found confidence, I don't think. Now I feel more numb when I encounter a situation like been rejected; it happens so much that it is easier to deflect. I don't know how else to describe it other than being numb? I am more used to it now I suppose. Compared to previous rejections, it went much better than usual, to name a minor positive.
"If things never go right and you always screw up it is hard to go into any situation w/ a smile": Yes - that is exactly how I feel! I am never able to strike the right balance with things - always too much or too little of something. |
The fact that you mention this made me think that unintentionally you might be showing that "numbness" the defensive (not conscious probably) mechanism where you expect to be rejected so your mind and body braces itself so-to-speak. The thing is, and I'm guilty of it too, if you expect the worst, or expect to be let down, it's more likely that you will be. Even without thinking people will pick those things up. My advice with that? Don't worry about the outcome, be confident in yourself and be as natural as you can while being open to anything happening and expect something good to come out. Thing is, it only takes one to say "yeah, I'll hang out!" to make a friend. You haven't tried every human being out there so I think there's still a lot of hope left
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Usually, I would think that a store employee is paid to be nice, but we chatted for 20 minutes last time? She told me where she's from (raise on a farm in a small town nearby), what kind of animals she has and what she likes, that she wants to move to another province, it seemed a lot more than the usual respectfulness of an employee. We were sitting in the back storage area and chatting.
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She could just be a chatty character. My ex was one of those and she would talk to just anyone and not even think twice about who it was. Just whoever, wherever she was. It got irritating actually going places because everything took at least 15 min longer -- get through a line at the store, go to the park with the kids, just everything. This could be how this lady is too.
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Now I am trying to feel okay being alone 24/7. Another user said she was fine with it. Maybe I can learn too?
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Me too, man... me too. I think we can learn to be alone and happy. In all the times I've met women (not that that's all you're looking for) it's been when I was confident and content with myself, however briefly. you can't lose here if you remain alone, you learn to be happy that way anyway. If you meet someone, you've made a new friend and you win then too. The future is rosy then!
~S4