A close gf of mine went through the troubles you are having but ultimately emerged victorious, and I hope for the same for you.

She:

- married a guy for whom it was a second marriage and he already had a child

- lived with him for many years and did not get pregnant

- they divorced

- she fell in love and started living with another guy who already had a son

- her first H remarried and had a baby

- all the while she was having unsuccessful IVF attempts with the second H (she started as soon as they got together because she was getting of age, if you know what I mean)

- 3 unsuccessful IVF attempts

- finally, the 4th attempt is successful and she is pregnant with twins

- when she was 7 months pregnant, her husband who just turned 40 DIES from a sudden heart attack

- she delivers (by C-section) 2 TERM twin boys at age 39, being a widow.