You said in your other post that you couldn't talk to a counselor about stuff. Is that still true? Cuz I have pretty much the same rejection from my mother, but with less abuse - I stayed away from her so she couldn't hit me. But it is taking me a lot of work with my T to change my basic personal reaction from rejection to loving acceptance. I think you can't expect regular people to overcome this in you. We have a lot to learn.