I've read a lot of posts here, and elsewhere, and also heard firsthand the experience of a friend. It has convinced me not to tell. As much as I really want to. It does change things. Many people are happy they did, but as time passes cracks seem to develop over a few months afterwards with, in some cases, a real souring of the relationship on one or both sides. Should it be healing? - yes. Is it sometimes healing? - sure. But it looks to me about 50/50 at best in terms of it still being a good thing after the dust settles. My friend's transference /crush got even worse and telling her T . She felt rejection deep down - even though her T seemed to handle it in the proper way. Sure therapists should know how to handle it and be trained etc etc, but don't forget - in the end you are just two people in a room and training and degrees might not win. You don't know deep down how they are really feeling about it. For some therapists it could be tremendously uncomfortable. It might be a good idea to consider this first. I know I won't do it after tirelessly learning about others' experiences. Besides, my T can read me like a book...I'm sure he already knows.