Hi. I'm not sure if this is the right sub-forum for this question, and if it isn't, feel free to wag your finger at me.. but I'm experiencing something unusual in my sessions and I'm kind of nervous to bring it up with my T.

The last two sessions we've been doing some deeper work involving my childhood, and there's a certain word that my T uses that appears to "deactivate" me. I guess a trigger word is what you would call it. And when she says this word, a gravid feeling consumes my body and it's like I shut down. It's got some characteristics of anxiety in that I can physically feel it in my chest but it's more like my body is firing off numbing agents, if that makes sense? After a few moments of squirming with this uncomfortable feeling, my vision gets unfocused and it feels as though I'm backing out of myself, or sitting behind myself.

My T will talk and I'll hear what she's saying, but I can't/won't register her words and I struggle not to zone out. I liken it to sudden onset drowsiness or what happens when you're sleepy and reading a book, but not taking anything in. She'll say something or pose a question, and I can't physically make myself talk or answer her. I'm not sure if she's noticing me do this, but last time she tried to use humor to get a smile out of me and I just sat there. Deadpan. Remote. Unable to engage. Blank.

And after my last session (Thursday), driving home, I kept getting spacy for moments at a time. I'd be at a stoplight, then it's like I start daydreaming, and the next minute I'm down the road without having acknowledged my surroundings. It feels unsafe to be so reflexively listless.

I know I should probably bring this up next week to T, but I'm embarrassed and unsure how to address it. I struggle big time with issues of shame, and I'm not sure if I need to ask her to ground me before I leave or... what I should do? If this happens during one-on-one sessions, what's going to happen when I start group and there's a lot more stimuli and anxiety? Will I go into stimulus overdrive? I feel defective.