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I used to do that with my interests to. Once at school I approached a girl and told her the size of the Caspian Sea. Who wouldn't want to talk about geographical landforms? . I can recite many of the world's largest deserts, mountains, lakes, etc. by size, and I can memorize many countries' populations, dates of independence, size, etc. Obviously she didn't want to talk about that, but it took me a few years before I realized that.

I have done similar things. I like philosophy a lot. In high school, I was teased constantly for reading Dante and Shakespeare and Machiavelli and such. Even my parents thought this was odd and accused me of being stuck-up, conceited, or elitist. I was so embarrassed that I would carry my books face down so people couldn't see what I was reading. And if someone did see them they would assume it was for some kind of class and then I would have to awkwardly explain that, no, I was reading it "for fun." But sometimes I get so excited about it; like Plato, I can talk about Plato for hours if I find the right person. And isn't talking about Plato so much more logical than talking about, I don't know, shopping or boyfriends or whatever it is women talk about?

And yes, it has also taken me a few years to realize that most people don't want to talk about this kind of thing...

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I definitely have issues with motor skills, Who. It's embarrassing that I have such difficulties with holding kitchen and writing utensils, brushing my teeth, holding something steady, and although not a motor skill problem, I struggle with speaking too. When I was last in a relationship, for example, she helped teach me how to say the word "specialty," which I couldn't pronounce even as a high school student. I struggle with a lot of things that can be embarrassing.

My brother's handwriting is not even legible (not even to himself!). I had something of a stuttering problem also but that was mostly due to being really nervous. It's not an official "problem" but I really tend to mispronounce things and mangle words often and I get really self-conscious about it. So yeah, I understand that these things can be embarrassing... all you can do is keep working on it I suppose.

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I've always been in therapy for one reason or another, and I have been repeatedly hospitalized too. Most of my body is now scarred from SI.

I'm sorry to hear that. I have a lot of scars too, mostly on my legs though. Well, I basically decided when I was 11 or 12 that I was too fat to wear shorts or a swimsuit ever again so it doesn't bother me so much because no one sees the scars on my legs... the problem is that a lot of mine are actual words, like "FAT" or "WORTHLESS" or "FAILURE" so it becomes kind of obvious... I don't actually find it upsetting at all, but I think my ex found it a bit worrisome.

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I've heard that it is easier for an Aspie female to be in a relationship with a normal man because it is the man that is expected to make the first move, so to speak? I'm a man with Asperger's Syndrome, and I have met only a handful of women that can tolerate me, much less love me, and many of those women eventually have found me intolerable after so long.

I'm a female without Asperger's Sydrome, and I have met only a handful of people (men and women!) that can tolerate me, much less love me, and many of those people eventually found me intolerable after so long...

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Eye contact is weird to me and uncomfortable. I don't understand how come people dwell on that so much. Moreover, I am told that a woman won't talk to a man or feel uncomfortable around him if he wears sunglasses, and I am always behind black-tinted sunglasses when I am not at home. (I have sensory issues with light and wear prescription sunglasses when away from home, and sometimes at home.) I first started wearing glasses because I couldn't handle the lighting in schools and public buildings.

I don't know, I've never really thought about the sunglasses thing. I suppose I might think it was odd if you were wearing them indoors but if you just said that you didn't like the lighting then... whatever, I don't care.

I have a hard time with eye-contact too, although it's gotten better.

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You said it well! No matter what I do I am always doing something wrong and am consequently rejected. I am too insecure, awkward, anxious, I don't maintain eye contact, I lack confidence, or the best of them all, I have weird interests. You would be amazed at how quickly women have rejected me because of the books I like to read or the animals I keep. I am told that I shouldn't talk about them but I think why should I have to lie or pretend I don't have these interests because of other people's ignorance? People continue to reject me because of my interests. You'll read on the "What's the sexiest attribute in a female to you?" thread that something that attracts me is the ability of a woman to respect and accept my interests. In the "Describe Your Dream Vacation" thread, I added a note about sending me hate mail and threats, because that's what people do. It makes me think that I will never be able to be the 'catch' that women want to date or be friends with. I will never be able to make the perfect impression or be that aforesaid 'catch.' What I need is for someone to be able to take a step back, withhold their judgements, and spend some time with me, not write me off based on first impressions.

Yeah. I was in a therapy group once and they talked about developing hobbies and interests. And I said something like, "Well, I have a lot of interests, it's just that no one is interested in what I'm interested in." So she told me to find more popular interests... I mean, I tried faking popular interests when I was a teenager, and it would work at first, but I'd always be found out. I wish I could find popular things interesting but I don't... I think they're boring.

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When I have earlier emphasized that I am active in clubs and whatnot, I didn't intend to come off as aggressive or desperate, but it can feel like people don't recognize or understand that there is more to it for me than simply being in a club or around people with a similar interest. Someone I know keeps recommending that I visit a bar to make friends - what a disaster that would be. It would really mean a lot to me if I had a friend or someone close to me I could sit down with and talk to . Being written off almost instantly and repeatedly hurts, and it certainly doesn't help with my self-esteem.

I remember being repeatedly told that if I would go out (had really bad agoraphobia at the time so I didn't actually go ANYWHERE) and meet people and be more sociable that I would make friends. That hasn't really happened, and I've been living in this city for 5 months now... It's pretty frustrating. And of course I have NO friends at home to return to once my year is up (I'm sort of a foreign exchange student currently). It's not like I DON'T meet people or go out or be social... I just don't connect with anyone, and I'm always being written off.

That's what I mean, when I say life is just a game of odds. I felt pretty angry because, look, here's my effort, now where are my results? But life doesn't work that way I suppose...