I have been thinking about this lately. My IOP psychiatrist had not seen me for a few months, and asked me how things have been? The answer wasnt surprising in any way, "soso, up and down, okay, fine". Now Monday the 14th, I am going to see my psychiatrist and havent seen her for 6 weeks. I have been wondering how I am going to answer the million dollar question, "So tell me how you have been?" I am at a loss for words usually, but come up with numb, depressed, okay, soso, or whatever. Then when I leave her office, I usually regret saying anything I said because I feel it to be a lie. Then after thinking about this even further, I have come to the realization that I often feel like I am lying about how I feel and how I am doing. Even in this moment, I have really truly no idea what my mood would be cateogorized as. Blah, unreal, fake, totally not sure. I feel as though I am not sitting here typing this but it is obvious that I am. It will play back in my mind like a dream. Fuzzy and sketchy. ....what I just said...will come back to bite me in the ***. I am now wondering how much of my memories are just that fuzzy and sketchy! Anyone following me!?!?! I just wanted to express this...I got the idea to write this after I read the post ...Is this depersonalization, and related in a way. I think. LOL.