Well, I'm back in school, just made it through my first week and it was horrible. I'm alone 70-80% of the time and so when I'm actually around people I'm too uncomfortable to interact, so I don't hardly interact. I don't participate in any of that social networking crap that other people seem to be so into, so no matter what I do, I'm always going to out of the loop and everyone is going to think I'm a loser.

That's fine. Even if I had friends, it'd be a fake friendship. They would never actually get to know me. They all push me away at some point (usually pretty hard) so it's better not to get emotionally invested in people at all.

I'm just done. If this is what my life is going to be, then I'm going to keep wishing that the universe puts me out of my misery. What did I do to deserve feeling like this ALL THE TIME?! Where it never gets better and there's no hope. I give up. I just wish I could go through with offing myself, but noooo.

So pathetic that my social life is spent waiting around for someone to reply to my messages on various message boards...and even worse how I can never stay in one place very long as I either get kicked out or everyone gets tired of me.