I played some racketball, and got hurt, but the pain felt realllly goood. I want more.... It felt good, and what's worse, is the fact that there is snow on the roads, which increases my anxiety level, no matter what I do. The one thing that could help is pain. right now, it's the thing I want, but can't have.... due to having someone else around. And so I'm on here, and trying to find some way to get what's in my head, out.... but it's not working. I want pain.