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Each encounter I have with my mother (not willingly by me) makes me want to die. To hear her tell it, I am THE one who disrupts and upsets the whole family. I would rather have no contact with any of them. She blames depression on my husband, or on poor life choices I have made. I was never wanted and the older I get, the more obvious it is. My heart has been broken more times than I thought possible. It may sound whiney, but if you lived in this family, you'd understand the feelingof total alienation and hatred.
As for my T, he is sick again. I don't feel there is anyone I can count on . I cannot count on myself because I am so beaten down, I just don't care and can't stand up fpr myself.
Maybe there is no point in all this .
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