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Old Jan 12, 2013, 08:01 AM
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Speed3 Speed3 is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2012
Location: Trying to Find Myself
Posts: 571
Quote:
Originally Posted by sassymck View Post
I was thinking of you yesterday Speed3. I was remembering you were burying your only child, Jason. I was wondering how you were faring. I don't know a lot about mania, but I do know that some people do deal with grief by going into 'action' mode. It makes them feel like they are doing something constructive. Mind you, your thoughts are racing and you are not sleeping. I think it would be difficult to relax at this time too. Perhaps you are hypomanic. I'm sorry your pdoc was useless to you. What do you feel would be helpful to you at this time?? Probably nothing, but if anything, do let us know. I got a notice in my e-mail from the funeral home that my candle for Jason was lit. I got four notices so maybe they lit four candles for me!! You remain in my thoughts. It will be the toughest time for you now as everyone else goes back to 'normal', but you will most certainly not. We are here for you.
Thank you for lighting the candle or candles I will look
It is hard to know if this energy, ect is normal grief reactions or activation of
Hypomania. I can't believe my PDOC kept closing his eyes like he was sleeping when I was pouring my heart out about some guilt I feel over Jason's death. Feelings my husband and family won't let me talk about because they feel it is destructive.

You are right now after the funeral everyone goes their separate ways, and I feel so alone with these mixed up feelings.

My husband has a lot of friends and his work. I don't have either.

I got in my car this morning around 5:00 am, in my pajamas, I have an angel statue I want to put on Jason's grave. My husband woke up and came and pulled the keys out of the car. He thinks I am headed for a trip to the hospital.

Maybe I just have a different timetable?
__________________



JASON 8/17/1985 to 1/03/2013

I miss you sweetheart
Hugs from:
BlueInanna