I don't know, Speed, but I think this is all part of the grieving process. First thing I'd do is get another psychiatrist! Then, I'd stay with the search for the seller of the
heroin your son had; that may continue to keep you strong until the grief assuages a little.

It's beneficial to society to get the thug who was selling the heroin. And I hope that it won't place your life in jeopardy by trying to find him.

The FBI may step in to help. Call them if necessary.

I don't think you're headed for the hospital at all. You're so strong and so
ratonal.

keep praying; we'll keep praying for your peace of mind, too.

Take care.