Thanks for the responses.

When I'm hypomanic, I have no problem being positive. After all, I can conquer the world, I'm days away from being rich and thin, people will know who I am, and everything is great.

But I haven't had that little spark of hypomania for so long. It's probably been gone since last June or July -- when I started seeing therapist and psychiatrist again after being out of treatment for many years.

I'm just really BLAH lately.

It's difficult to get out of bed, yet if I give in and stay in bed all day I end up mad at myself for wasting the day and I reach that point where I'm kind of stiff and sore from being in bed too much.

Then I checked Facebook (as I do first thing in the morning), and many of my entrepreneurial friends are posting about how it's a wonderful day, they're so thankful to be alive, they've got things to accomplish, etc.

All I can think of is, "What the he** am I going to do with another damn day of life?"

This is terrible of me. I know life is a gift. I know people can make whatever they want out of life. I had big dreams. But now I am so far out of that mindset that it scares me.