Oh dear. First of all, WELCOME. We're in hell together right now, so at least we are not alone. I'm a depression veteran, unfortunately. Lots of other issues, too. I've been in therapy for twenty years straight and counting.

It's so hard to feel not heard and not understood by a therapist. I empathize hugely. The one I had before my current one (the one I've been with for 20 years and counting) was a clueless user of tools, which is what your description of your therapist sounds like to me. The ONLY good thing he did was to give me an excellent referral.

What really counts in therapy is the strength of the relationship. When you don't have that, the tools don't work.

You are NOT too far gone, my friend. Please keep posting. Would you possibly considering sharing what you have written here with your therapist? Maybe that might help him know what's happening inside your head and give him a clue that what he's doing is not being useful.

I am also a psych student with a lot of pastoral counseling experience, and from that corner of my brain, (which remember is ONLY my opinion, NOT professional advice or anything like that) I'm saying, "Boy, this therapist sounds like he didn't make it out of sophomore year of college." If I were in your shoes I'd be confronting him about his lousy technique and/or looking elsewhere....Again, coming from *that* corner of my brain. I realize, since I'm currently here in hell with you, that such efforts sound far beyond anything doable. But they *are* options. Just let that roll around in your brain. Maybe something will grow from it and you'll find a way to make yourself heard.

You deserve GOOD help.