Living life is an act of daily practice; it sounds like you are too much in your head, not getting practice conversing with others (so you can learn to express yourself to those you want near you) or working toward getting what you want but just fantasizing about it.

I did that until my early 30's when a lot of therapy and a couple of really good friends helped me wake up and live life instead of just spending my time make up what it was like. You cannot know about pain and pleasure from just inside your own head; that is just you, thinking/imagining. The real pain and the real pleasure are real, are happening as you move around out in the world.

The less interaction one has with the world the more warped one's thinking becomes, endlessly going around and around just in one's own head, with no feedback from other, real people.