My story is long, so I'm going to try to keep this as straightforward and simple as possible.
When I was 3 my mom and dad got divorced. He pretty much abandoned me when I was about 10, so I haven't really seen or talked with him in years. When I was 9 my mom got pregnant from some guy she worked with at the time and they ended up getting married to try to have a family together. But they would yell and fight (nothing ever got physical) all the time. So when my mom gave birth to my little brother 3 months early because George was yelling at her about something stupid as usual no one was surprised, and when Gabe (my brother) was about 2 and a half they got divorced as well.
We ended up having to live in a trailer that was literally falling apart around us, and couldn't afford much of anything. At school I was being constantly bullied and teased because of my acne, or my clothes being from goodwill, or the fact that my shoes were always ratty, or because I was an overweight child/preteen/teenager. At home I was raising my brother (who has severe ADHD and was at that time uncontrollable at times) because my mom had to work as much as she could to be able to afford the necessities like food, Gabes meds, gas in the car, and electric for the trailer.. I was stressed like this from about 12-16 and because of the stress building up so much when I was about 14-15 I started to cut to help release some of the emotional pain I was feeling and turn it into physical pain instead.
Then 3 years ago (I was 16) my mom married Lee.... I hate Lee. I have known that something bad would happen because of how he gets sometimes... he is an overly controlling control freak. I mean that he has to control the way the WHOLE day goes or he will snap and yell, mostly at mom, and I knew that the stress that put on her would get to be to much at some point. But when I was 17 after a year of going through all the crap he put my family through I had had enough, I snapped, I yelled back and then locked myself in my room and overdosed on a mixture of meds that I had in there. [forgot to mention I have insomnia too] and I cut as well. Needless to say I'm still alive and after I was found I was sent to St. Simons Psychiatric Hospital and after I was released I was okay for about 8 months but the stress caused me to attempt another suicide attempt and I was then sent to Coastal Harbor Health System and have been... okay...
I moved out of the house with my mom and lee and went to live with a friend. While I was over there it was okay, my depression was under control, I didn't have to take meds for it and I wasn't having all the suicidal thoughts that I would normally have. Also while I was living over there I met Travis. He has been the only person keeping me together for the past few months and I'm happy to have found someone who can love me for who I am and not who I pretended to be.
In October 2012 I lost my job and still haven't been able to find a new one, I quickly ran out of money and in December came back to stay with mom. The stress hit me just from 2 days of staying here and Travis has been doing his best to keep me looking up.
However last night a major blow out happened, I stayed mostly uninvolved except to help my mom. She ended up having to have the EMS come over and look at her because her chest started hurting her so much. I stayed with Gabe to try to keep him calm, but lee said he was going to leave for good. I think that is best considering all the stress he has caused my family, and it's sad that my baby brother told me last night that they still fight all the time, and that he wanted lee to leave so that it could just be the 3 of us again because he is afraid of lee.
I'm at a point where I just don't know what to do again. Mom says I should go back to my friends, but I only have .36 cents in the bank, and about a dollar in my purse. I have no job still looking every day though. My financial aid for school was denied so I can't do another semester of collage. If I stay here though I'm afraid that something else will go wrong and lee will attack me, if I get the police involved to protect myself and my family then mom will just get more upset.
I don't understand why she still want's to be with this a$$hole after everything he as put her through either....
Please help me, I just don't know anymore.....