I can't speak for others, but I definitely notice you here Please never feel bad about posting when you are struggling. This forum is a place for support when we all need it. We all have hard times and this is a safe place to come where you shouldn't be judged or turned away.

I am sorry to hear of your mother in law. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you and your family right now. I know it's hard to believe now but in time the pain will start to ease. I always found, even in the sad times, try to focus on the good - the good memories you had of her and the person that she was. That still lives on in her family, friends and all of those who she has interacted with in her life. I am sorry that there aren't words that can take the pain away but wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and your family in this very difficult time.