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Jan 12, 2013, 09:38 PM
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Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Mid World
Posts: 18,129
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{*{*{*{*Mr. V*}*}*} 
You rewrite those old tapes in therapy and by what you tell yourself on a daily basis. Can I share a personal experience? During a session my T wanted me to say out loud "I deserve to be treated with love and respect." I could NOT make the words come out. I literally could not say the words. But I starting saying it to myself. During those times when I was scared out of my head that my husband was going to come after, terrified he was going to kill me I would repeat it in my head, over and over and over.... Oh so slowly I came to believe it. I said before, I ain't nobody special. If I can rewrite those tapes so can you.
Ain't nothin' wrong with crying hon. It helps let the hurt out. But I do understand about the shame that goes with it. I used to get so mad at myself for crying in sessions. I thought it was a weakness. I thought it was a waste of my time during the session. Do you know that tears we shed due to emotional pain are chemically different than other tears? Letting those tears out helps us heal.
I hear you about that double standard. I still have it to an extent myself. I can excuse mistakes in others. I'm all too likely to mentally beat myself up over some mistakes. Still we can learn to cut ourselves the same breaks we would allow others.
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