Welcome to Psych Central,

I am sorry that you're struggling with your emotions, relationships, and very difficult memories. I can relate to a lot of your difficulties. There are a few different forums in which members talk specifically about depression, sexual abuse, personality disorders, friend/family relationships.

Your experiences do make me believe that you need some help working through your life. You may not be crazy , but you certainly could use help in coming to terms with these horrible memories. And, hopefully, come up with some healthy ways of dealing with your pinball - like emotions.

Gentle hugs to you...