It's sort of funny, I could tell that even when writing this post, you were trying to reassure yourself and reassure us. OCD, for me, is a never ending quest to find reassurance and keep things in equilibrium.

Fear not. We do understand. And I understand the need to reassure oneself, but just know that no matter how ridiculous you feel your obsession is, you can spill it all out here. I can promise that most, if not all of us, will have had a similar obsession/compulsion. For example, I went through the gay one when I was in 7th grade. I also compulsively read over everything I post/send. I'm doing it right now. And I have had worries that maybe I was crazy enough to do something horrible. Obsessions can be as stupid and far fetched as your imagination will allow. But they're just that. Obsessions. Nothing more.

If you are in fact OCD, there are effective ways to treat it. You're not crazy. OCD is a well studied and documented condition, and those who suffer from it are not considered to be "disturbed" or "crazy". It's classified as an anxiety disorder, and nothing more. Hang in there. Psych Central has your back