I am sorry to hear you are feeling bad. Where I live it is cold and cloudy and that always makes me depressed. Maybe you are depressed. It sounds like you have a lot going on. Do you have a t? If not you should find one. If you do have your t than you should be telling him/her how you are feeling. A lot of people feel depressed this time of year. The good thing is that we are almost done with winter, than the the flowers will be back with the warm days. Can't wait. Feel better.