Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna
I don't know; I don't see 26 year olds as "kids". Both men are grown men, that the 26 year old is in school; I was in school when I was 50+, so what? I would not worry about what your boyfriend does in/with his life unless it directly impacts on you; if you were living together and he went out with this guy after dropping you off or something, that would be different. Whether the 26 year old pays your boyfriend the money owed is your boyfriend's problem too; if your boyfriend owes you money, you can then insist he pay you and lay down boundaries but whether they are "friends"/drinking buddies or not doesn't bother me, other than what it shows about each of them and whether I want to be with them, etc.
If you do not like your boyfriends behavior, you tell him and then you have to decide how it impacts you, if you dislike who he "is" as a result (if I were to dislike something my husband did, he'd seriously discuss it with me, think about it hard, and change his behavior or not depending on what we determined together; if he decided to continue with behavior that bothered me, it would be up to me to decide where my boundaries were, whether he was the sort of man I wanted to be with, etc.).
That you raise the "jealousy" flag idea is good; I'd think about my own behavior, thoughts, feelings, etc. and why I am that concerned about someone else's behaviors/how they're living their life. As long as he does not bail or come over on Saturday too tired to do anything or hung over, what do you care?
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It impacts me because I hear my boyfriend complain about being owed money when he has his own financial issues to deal with. I also hear him worry/complain about the roommate's drunken behavior and his concern for the other guy. He does not know how to express this concern directly to him, however. I also care just because I worry that this guy has a problem. And, the roommate is not a grown man. Physically, yes. He has no job...his parents pay for school and his rent. He also appears to have a serious problem with depression. He's wasted money on ******** from what I can see, and I'm tired of my boyfriend getting taken advantage of. We're in a relationship...so, his life does impact mine. I feel his stress and I also feel his concern. But, I guess in your book being concerned about how someone else lives their life is a waste of time. Why are you questioning why I care? I just do, so let's operate on that basic premise. I added information that the roommate was in school only to give a more complete picture and show that they are at different points in their lives...just wondering why you are so defensive that I included this piece of background information. Not sure why my post triggered the response I got from you, but maybe it's something for you to think about.