I think it depends on how much selfishness it actually amounts too. It's okay to take care of yourself, and do things for yourself, but if it's at everyone else's expense it gets into the "selfish" reign. You have young children. As long as their needs are met, they are well loved and cared for, they are not neglected (which I know they aren't) then you aren't being selfish totally. You're a good mom Healed, I am sure you will find the balance.