Oh, wow, I identified a lot with what you said, dsh, but I'm 56. The gas comment really got me.

There's good news, you can learn all these things if you want. Get a good therapist to talk to while you experiment and figure out what you want to "be" when you grow up :-) It's not easy, never is, but just doing a lot of things (no one "learns" a lot of things nor are they born knowing, they just do them enough and then it's not so scary) will help with some. Some negative/scared feelings are fine if you try things. I still don't like getting gas particularly but can do so without problem. The little bit of fear is just "there," so what? As long as I get the gas, what does it matter that there is a bit of unpleasantness?

Biggest thing that helped me besides therapy was keeping journals to help me figure out what I wanted, who I wanted to be, what I liked, etc. Look at some of the things you don't like in your life as a "problem" to be solved then brainstorm with your good intelligence. Make up "experiments." How many times buying gas does it take to get comfortable buying gas? Do you prefer one station over others? Why or why not? I always prefer stations where I've gotten gas before (which makes going on long trips interesting :-) but even with local stations, there are some I like better than others (side of the street, size, etc.). Find your own preferences so you get to know yourself better. No preferences are bad or wrong! And you don't need a reason for a preference. Maybe go around stating your preferences to people. "I prefer ______." Think about types of restaurants, food, etc.