((Jonalexa)) I'm glad you're here and reaching out. I'm sorry for the painful time you're going through. I know the feeling of wanting to retreat. Actually I've been doing that for about 2 years, I guess. I keep in touch with my old friends and my online groups like this one. You'll get through this. We're here for you. I know it's not the same, but it's something. Good luck to you! Annie