Priestess, my friend, you and I both have been through depressions before, and we know they ALWAYS end.....at some point. This will not last forever. I won't blow sunshine up your skirt and tell you that the sun will come out tomorrow, but I do want you to give yourself and your family at least a few more tomorrows.

PLEASE get someone to watch the kids and go to the hospital ASAP, if you haven't already. I know this feels awful, and I've said the same things about my family being better off without me because I'm sick and a screw-up, but you can't let yourself believe that. Your children need their mother, and you need them. Please get help so you can watch them grow up and dance at their weddings and hold your first grandchild. Those are some of the best experiences life has to offer---you don't want to miss them!