Thanks again for the replies, and also your concern, everyone.

I'm not the best at explaining things, but I try. This might be kind of long.

montanan4ever, my therapist said "You don't really want to do this (read out of my workbook for depression) do you?" And after I told him "No, I don't really want to do anything" he said "You leave me with two choices, to force you to do it, or not do it and I don't want to have to be your parent or teacher, so I will close the book". So you can see why I might feel like I am too far gone. It's like, I have to already have a will power to do it before I can proceed. But that is the problem, I need help that is further back than here, I don't know if that makes any sense.

lindammarie, thanks for the advice. I was reading your previous reply and I can't help but feel sad. I will never understand why us humans have to suffer and endure all this crap. I suppose I could try to find another therapist, but it is so stressful and frustrating for me. I really don't want to have to spend months of sessions just explaining the things I had just already explained over again...ugh. I did write down some things before I went one time on note cards, and that did help a little bit.

GreyThinker, my insurance just switched with the coming of 2013, I probably would have to find somebody else on my own. And yes, he wants real reasons and an explanation why I want to stop. Now that I have kind of gotten deeper into it I honestly think that counseling as a whole probably isn't going to work for me. That is, if all counseling requires YOU to be responsible of deciding what to talk about, and if it requires you to have goals. I don't know what else is out there, or what I really need, but it sure doesn't seem like it exists, and this makes me feel hopeless again.

browneyed tx girl, I am really afraid of going on some pills and trying to drive and work as normal. I don't want to end up hurting anybody else because of some pill that makes me have blurred vision, nausea, fatigue, and strange mood changes or altered thoughts. At least, that is what I have already experienced when I took 10mg Prozac for a very short amount of time. Yes, I have already pissed my therapist off and seen his defensive side. As I have said above, I really would hate to have to waste months in sessions just explaining everything over again, just to find out that another therapist isn't going to work. I am sorry but I cannot help but to think nothing matters.