My pdoc wants me to try taking Risperdal again. I tried before but said I didn't want to anymore, and lied about what side-effects I was having, it was too embarrassing, horrifying, disturbing, and all of the above for me (lactating ). If It also did not make me feel good - this is what I told my pdoc. I felt more than numb. I felt like a limb was asleep, prickly on the inside and numb too, but instead of a limb it was my whole body, metaphorically speaking.

Originally, I kind of made it sound like I couldn't adjust or was kind of copping out. :/ Normally I feel comfortable or at least suck it up when there's an event or symptom that stands out, but this is just too embarrassing, even though I know it probably shouldn't be. And I do want to follow his best advice, it has really helped when no other doctors had, but this one I can't do.

Is there some kind of alternative I can preemptively suggest to my pdoc...? I also avoid meds with weight gain - I've had that experience before, and it was awful. I have an eating disorder, so you can imagine the results.

Btw, he wants to give it to me because I've been having terrible nightmares for a long time and also anxiety where I can't do anything.

Anyone??