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Old Jan 14, 2013, 01:29 PM
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roads roads is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2011
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Posts: 23,905
I don't know what makes you think you're suffering from a bipolar disorder. You mention depression and paranoia but say nothing about mania and nothing about being diagnosed bipolar.
Depending on what kind of drugs you were exposed to in the past, you could be suffering flashbacks, which might account in part for some of the delusions and paranoia. If you do suffer from Post Traumatic Stress, that could bring on some of your symptoms.
We aren't able to diagnose here, since we're a peer support and self-help site. All I can do is put together what you're describing with what other members have said. What I'd suggest, though, is that you do sound like you've had about all,you can take and need professional help.
You don't mention where you live, but if you're in the United States you can get help in any hospital Emergency Room. If you don't have insurance, you'll be admitted anyway and treated immediately--how payment will be handled will be worked out later according to your income. You need to get to a safe environment where you can stop worrying about being watched or hacked. The units are closed and locked against the outside world, and for awhile you'd be safe. You can sleep, figure out what's real, and try to find your balance. If you can do that on your own, fine. If not--psychiatrists will test you and work with you and help get you balanced.
I hope this helps. Please be safe.
Thanks for this!
BipolaRNurse