hello, i am a new member and im so glad i found this. i have suffered from."depression" since i was around 10. just dealt with it on my own for a long long time. was finally diagnosed as bp2 last april, finally! started seeing a therapist and dr beginning of 2010 when i found myself alone in a strange city where i had an awesome job BUT my husband of less than 6 months decieed he wanted a girlfriend from back home had a breakdown and this was the real start of everything. met my now husband shortly after and he helped me through a lot long distance. since the beginning of 2010 i got divorced, moved back home, got married, got pregnant and had my daugyter, adopted my two stepkids, moved 4 times, had two unsucessful work attepmts just to name a few. been hospitalized 4 times, lots of meds, lots of diagnosis. this gets me to today...im under so much stress im about to explode or have a major breakdown. we have to move again and my husbqnd is trying to buy a house, i have my ss hearing in a few weeks, just got done with holidays and kids being home for almost 3 weeks, my sister who watched my eaughter and helped out alot got a new job and moved, unsupportive family, no medical insurance and very limited budget, raan out of meds for 5 days....im at my breaking point! i started cutting again and have to hide that from everyone but if i dont do it i think i would just freak out. im so close to another trip to the hospital but its just NOT possible...i feel like no one understands...i cant put how i feel into words my husbane can uneerstand...there is rage, pain, no sleep, too much sleep, overeating, not eating at all, panic attacks, migraines, manic days and so low depressed days...i just dont know what to do anymore!!!