Well he sounds pretty toxic for you. Love is hard, and can blind us a bit or a lot at times. Maybe if you put some distance between the two of you, you will be able to sort things out better in your heart and head. I have been in a very bad relationship and I know it really is not easy. I know there is hopeing they will change, guilt over not "sticking it out", and probably guilt for putting youself first. At least that is what I experienced. Relationships like this also do quite a number on our self esteem making it more difficult to break free.

I know if you look up bipolar you will see all those things listed as symptoms. But a good look around will show you that just as many people with Bipolar do not partake in those things, it really is a lot more complicated. Yes though the moods can make it harder to be rational there are still choices. How we grew up, how we think about the world, ourselves and others, how we learned to cope, core beliefs and values, things like cognitive thought distortions as in black and white thinking and that kind of thing, plus many other factors make up and influence the choices we make. So it really is complex. Whether we learned it growing up, were not shown otherwise or whatever helped us arrive there, we are adults now and we are now responsible for what we do with these things. Whether we will continue along the same, get help, make choices to better ourselves it all comes down to us and personal responsability in the end . If you can make the changes and choices that you need to make in your own life I am sure that will also lead to you living more closely the life you want to be living.

I hope you can lend yourself the same compassion you have given him. You sound very capable of that. It sounds like abusive behaviour to me, and doesn't sound like there are many reasons to stick around for more. I hope you can rebuild those relationships that were lost if they were healthy ones. I am sure that is possible in many cases.

But stick around here if you need support and people to talk to, it's a really good place for that. And I know this isn't easy. It's good to have somewhere to go like this when you need to find that strength. Maybe in the end he will take the steps he needs to, to be in a relationship with you that is healthy. But until then you can rebuild and repair your own life. Or you might find someone else that is ready for that healthy relationship and who will love you in the same way, treat you with respect and honour your relationship. If it sounded to us like he was serious about changing and was willing to offer you what you need then I think people would be more encouraging for you to stick by him.

I wish you the best with this!