I'm seeing my new pdoc in two days and I'm trying to figure out how to explain to him my depression. I'm bipolar. Not depressed. I can feel depressed, and severely when I do, but it lasts for a few days to two weeks or more if something does not relieve it. When I feel depressed, it feels like I've always felt that way, even if I was happy the week before. And when I'm depressed, it feels like I'm in a dark abyss where my life is meaningless and hopeless, and because I'm bipolar, I can suddenly be so happy I'm singing and act like I'm never depressed.

So what I am planning on asking my pdoc is, what can I do during those phases when I'm feeling depressed? My previous pdoc told me it's just something I have to live with because anti-depressants trigger the mania, but there's just no way I can keep living with the depression any longer because it sends me into such a dark place where it's not normal depression.

I just watched a commercial for Abilify. They said it's an add-on to the anti-depressant I'm already taking, which I guess could mean the lithium and zyprexa I am taking. When I was in IOP, a nurse told me that I should try different anti-depressants and other solutions to find the right fit for me.

I'd like to find a medication I can take as-needed for when I am feeling depressed, something that will fit with my bipolar and won't trigger manic symptoms. What has worked, what hasn't for you? Thanks.