it sounds like it is just time to find a new T .if you cant trust this T any more it just seems like you are torturing yourself by staying with him it seems you are spending years trying to fix this with him instead of working on your reasons for being in T .i cant see how that is helping. having a rupture once in a while to work through is one thing but you have been dealing with this for well over a year now .i cant see how it is helping you deal with your life out side of your T