You're suicidal right now? or all the time, what do you mean? I wish I could help somehow James. I think it's healthy to be depressed sometimes and people who aren't, well they're really nuts. But to the point of feeling suicidal, I know cuz I've been there, I think it's a bp thing to go to that extreme in our heads. It just makes me so sad, it hurts so bad to be that depressed. I don't want you to be hurting that bad. Hurting is part of life, it sucks it does... But you don't have to hurt alone, talk to me, talk to us, we're here for you. You got more people who love you than you can probably handle! I try not to overwhelm you with my obvious adoration. Of course we want to see you hang in there, not time for to go yet my buddy!!!!!