Thinking of you Nightsky. Although this whole situation was just a bit too big and bad and awful, I really do hope that eventually, although it's been dreadful, it leads you to even greater healing. Huge hugs to that precious little part of you that missed out. She deserved so much more back then. She still deserves to be held and support just for a minute by someone else now, so that you can go back to what you're clearly already working so hard to do, looking after her yourself.