I just want you to know that if you need help caring for your son it doesn't mean you don't love him, and it doesn't mean you are a failure. In the case with disorders that interfere with relationships and attachment a child's comfort with a routine (and discomfort with change) might be misinterpreted as a need for a particular person such as their mother, and further the guilty feelings during the transition of letting others help care for them. If your son is no longer welcome at school I expect he is a real handful at home. I hope that you get an accurate diagnosis and the best care and advice, and most importantly, take the advice.

My younger brother suffered from a host of developmental disorders. My parents were advised that he would need to be in a home and my mother wouldn't have it. I can only speak from my perspective as an adult, but it would have been far better to get to see my brother in a home or inpatient setting once a once a week on pleasant terms than live with the hell he created in the home on a daily basis (a home I promptly left as soon as I could drive).