Easy girl, your very young and at this point in your life your already confused of who you are and what you want to be. Nothing is more precious then life it self. I'm sure its very hard for your dad to communicate with you. I agree, he needs to help you and start some form of relationship. At your age you have the opportunity to become whatever you want. Maybe there are some activities you can start doing to occupy your time. Now is the time when you need to make new friends. You have a lot going on in your life and everything seems its crashing down and dont seem it can get better. I believe things are pretty rock bottom for you so with that said they can only get better. I believe you need to talk to a counsler that can help guide you. It always feels better to talk things out, even if you dont get the answer your looking for. It also sounds like your family may need your support, try getting along better with them. Again, your very young and have a promising life ahead. You can always make a difference. I wish you happiness, hope things get better.