I still hurt so much everyday. I still think about her all the time. I guess I hurt so much because I really don't know what she is thinking, does she miss me the way I miss her. Why is she so angry, frustrated, and confused. It's been over three months since the break up and she still has not talked to me about this. She wanted nothing to do with me for the first month, no texting, no calling, removed me from facebook all the normal break up stuff. The second month she told her family she still wanted me to hang out with them because we were all friends and I did do a lot with most of them. The second month I started writing her letters. She did not write back and I knew she would not, that's just not her style. I know she read the letters because the first letter I gave to her cousin when she was going over to her house for a party for her daughter. When her cousin gave her the letter, she went right away to the bedroom to read it. I wrote a few more letters after that. I saw her twice before Christmas and spent a little bit of time with her in her house. We never talked about us, but it felt good just to see her. She sent me a text saying it was not a good idea to come back over because she could get involved to quick and she did not want that. I saw her again on Christmas night. I brought my daughter over because my daughter bought gifts for her two kids and my ex and her som bought something for my daughter. We spent about an hour an a half there. I was expecting another one of those text messages the next day but she didnt, so I felt a little better. I still talk to her mom and dad, as a matter of fact I still go over to her dads house about once a week, they live behind her. We were close and did hang out, drink a couple beers and just watch tv. I still do this. I guess I just think If I can still maintain a relationship with her parents then maybe it will help. Another thing at first she asked me not to go to the same gym we both went to. About a month ago I sent her a text saying I would like to go and will not go at the same time she does. She never replied back, so I took that as fine. She still pays for my membership, she has not canceld it, we have a joint membership. I saw her about a week ago, I asked if there was any mail at her house and she said yes that she would leave it on the front porch and to come the next day to get it. I went to get it and she forgot to leave it outside. She said sorry she forgot, she asked me in the house. She gave me the mail and we just kinda chit chatted for about 30 minutes. Again, I felt pretty good because I got to see her and talk to her. A couple days goes by and I went to the gym. She was there, she usually is not there at this time. I talked to her for a minute and asked if it was ok that im at the gym. She said, I dont care what you do. I guess I just dont understand her, I dont understand what women think. I dont know if or when we may be able to start over. I do love her very much and miss her a lot. I guess I just wish we could talk. I'm very confused myself, although in my heart I know I would wait a life time to get her back. Am I crazy, any suggestions. Any women out there that can tell me what this may mean.