I feel so restless, like I want to go somewhere. I want a real friend to hug. I really want to drink... Today was a demanding Monday. Work was really difficult. I've been working until now. And now I'm bored. I wish I could just unwind easily....

I'm trying my coping skills, rationalizing and thinking things through. Breathing, mindfulness. Waiting for the restless boredom to pass.

A little back and forth in my head like, why'd you go and throw out all those "friends" phone numbers?

Well, because they aren't really a good influence.

How stupid to want to drink, I know it couldn't lead to any good. But then again if I had a little store nearby, or a "friend", I could easily just have a beer and chill out.

Going out of town felt so liberating, I was working, but it was really nice to get away from the kids and the messy house.

I have nowhere to go, so better just take klons tonight so I can sleep. Sleep sounds boring I don't want to sleep! Ugh.