Interesting. I've been with this T for ten years (altho I took 3 years off) and now we're both in our 60's, but only recently have I seen the man. I think we have to recognize the scared little boy in them, the defensive boy in them, etc, for them to give them up. I don't know what ELSE is going on in my T's life, but I am pretty sure I am responsible for some of his changing. But it's a mutual thing.