Agreed. You did well saying no for 3 years and the fact is, sure you didn't say no or stop him this time but the blame is on him simply for the fact that after 3 years, he should have stopped asking. It's like it seems like he persisted in the fact that he figured one of these times your guard would be down like that night. Well I put more of the burden on him in that a caring friend or SO would not put so much pressure on someone he knows can be weak but also knows what their real desire is (to abstain with them) A real man would go out of his way to protect your needs and respect the boundaries already set, not constantly test the line until it breaks.

Don't take too much of the guilt to heart please.

Also do follow the other advice too - be protected for those times when you weaken.

I say do everything you can to find other outlets for your mania and avoid those at all costs that you know will take advantage of you. Find a way out ahead of time when you're thinking clearly so when it happens you have the plan already in place.

~S4