Quote:
Originally Posted by xmoonbeamx8
Last year I was hospitalized for a few weeks. It was one of the most terrifying things to be left there, but the worse part is how I miss it. It makes me feel so wrong and broken for missing that place, but as much as I thought I was going to feel stronger in a place like that with people who needed more help than me I learned how much help I myself really needed. I've always been trying to help everyone else, why did I never see this about my self. Why did I feel like in the past year that was the only place I really fit in. I've been wondering this for so long, and each time I think about it I cry, what kind of person does it make me to miss being in a hospital. I dont want to be there, but it just felt right, the people made me feel right.
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i was in the differrent pshyc wards in my city, different hospitals for years about one month a year from 1985-2008, i did not like the treatment of the patients in the 1980's but something must have happened in the system or in myself, and now I feel great since my last hopsitalization in 2008. I used to fight with the docs and nurses saying I didn't belong there,although now I see I really did. i had a 21 day stay at the local hospital where they monitored a medication change, even though I also had 3 seizures, I was finally put on meds for somethingI didn't even know I had.I got to know the other patients and I thinkthe hardest part of the whole thing was leaving. When i was turning to go away, one of the nurses asked me what i was going to miss the most and I said the people here. It is scarry being in the hospital at first. I was actually punched by another patient you kind of have to keep your guard up when you get there, but things get better-the other patients usully are more afraid of the new people, don't feel bad because you miss it, feel good that you learned how to love these people too. There are horror stories thaat used to scare the crap out of me when i first got sick, but then I learned maybe these people do want t help me I got 3 meals a day, got to play different card games, and other things to do.i keep telling my husband If i', too much for him to handle, take me to the hospital I'm asking for it when I need it now.
