S4 thanks so much. He is very controling. Phone, TV, computer, travels, friends, he has control over all of these. But he has gotten considerably better.

He hates the inhome T w/ a hatred that is scary. He used to check the meter and limit our power usage. Or want it to only be used so much, we could only start the car so many times in a day, he didn't want to ware the starter out. The in home laughed one day, I think because she didn't know what else to do, She said you actually left a room and didn't turn the light off, it is the first time I've seen that in 6 mo.

Things have changed. I can now take incoming calls when he is here, I still get ugly looks for calling others when he's home. I can watch TV if I so choose and he will go to another room, that really is an improvement.

I am so proud of myself. I'm not trying to toot my own horn or anything. I got my first checking account ever at age 38. I've kept it up and running successfully for 8 mo now. I'm not a dumb and irresponsible as he thought.

I had no credit. So the in home helped me get my first credit card. I have managed to use it and same thing, I'm not irresponsible and incapable.

It took a while to get a cell phone though. I talked to one of my H's partners at work. He wanted my cell number incase something happened at work (it is construction) and he needed a way to get in touch w/ me if I wasn't home. I laughed and told him I didn't have a cell phone. He was floored that I live 20 miles away and have to come down a huge mountain. And travel after dark to w/ out a cell phone. His and his wife lives in town and he wouldn't dare send his wife out w/ out a way to get intouch w/ him or anyone else for that matter.

It was about 2 weeks later and the business got an extra cell phone. I got to have it. I have used it a few times. It still takes me awhile to figure out how to text people who's numbers are not preloaded into phone. I know these things sound like normal conviences and they are. But my H has really made huge strides at loosening his grip and I know this leads him to be very insecure and leery of things. I don't plan on leaving PC. I am trying to draw very clear lines and be very reassuring not secretive. Fear used to make me secretive. Now that the fear is lessening I can tell him the truth and not be afraid if he doesn't like it.

We are meeting w/ the T. It is my intent to bring this up again. I have here there to protect me and help me.