Well, I got a job lead for my... uh... uncle in law? Hopefully it works out.

I am extremely stressed. My review at work is tomorrow. One of my co-workers (because everyone gets to review me, not just the boss... it's dumb...) printed out a copy of an unfinished review and left it on the printer last night, which I saw this morning when I got here (and was all alone, mwahaha...)

It wasn't fully complete. The comments weren't all filled in. The ones that were talked about how I've improved but still need to improve more. (Most of this was BS to begin with. Example last year they said my customer service was terrible, yet our patient survey showed that 98% of respondents gave me an "excellent" or "very good" response.) And some of it is my bipolar, like I need to keep being "more organized."

But then, we get points. And last year I got 3.23 points. This year, I'm getting 3.31 points... so.... I only improved by .08 points! Last year they told me my review was so bad they were going to fire me. And I only go up by .08 points after busting my *** all year? But now I need this job even more because we need to get an apartment, and if I slip up, we'll be homeless....

I have no where that I can be safe and feel safe right now. At home I'm in the constant judging/watching of MIL and her brother. At work I'm in the constant watching/judging of my co-workers. And then I have all the pressure that if I fail, we're screwed.... so... all the pressure and no safe place. It's so annoying.