I didn't see what Rose pointed out BM. I am not so sure it is "OCD" though, I have a feeling this behavior pattern is more of a "PTSD or anxiety" problem tbh.

Because of my own history, as well as struggling with my husband's drinking problem, I was constantly "cleaning" my house. Now that I look back on that I realize that I did that because I constantly felt "unsafe" and somehow in my mind I thought that if my house was clean enough or pleased me enough I could relieve that "hidden insecurity". I see alot of things about myself that I did in an effort to help myself feel safer or get my enviroment better. I never realized "why" as I mentioned.

I am not that way now though, I could not keep that up with the farm, my own business and the PTSD too. I did have that strange "drive" in me, especially around the holidays. When I look even further back on my childhood, I also saw my mother struggle and I tried to help her clean her house in hopes to help her "feel better". And whenever my grandmother (her mother) came to visit, my mother ran around like crazy cleaning her house because her mother was the "queen of clean" right down to checking to see if there was dust around.

I really think in your husband, that is from all the pressure he had put on him growing up. It is just so awful how when a child has experienced what you have shared with us your husband experienced, how that presents psychological problems.

I was not as bad as your husband is, but I am not a man and I don't have "his" history either. I am sorry that you have to be involved with this experience, I hope this comes to light for him as you keep encouraging therapy. Somehow he has to learn how to "let go" of this behavior pattern, it is going to be a challenge, I am sure he doesn't realize where this comes from, as I mentioned, I had no idea myself, but I sure see it now.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes