Thanks for responding! And yes, as far as I know, he is not real husband material. Mostly because he doesn't really want to share a life with someone else, he keeps a lot to himself and it seems like the only person he trusts at all is his mother. And he is not a child, he's fourty-two!
Just today he changed his profile picture. Now it's a pic of him and his wife. When I saw he changed it, I felt nervous and just went out to buy cigarettes (I smoke a lot, but much more when I'm in distress). When I got back home and I saw the picture on my computer, I automatically said: "thank you, God, you saved me from this!". I didn't even realized what I was saying, it just came out from really deep inside. A few minutes after that, I felt bad, but not for me! I felt bad for his wife. He doesn't look happy on that pic. I've seen him much happier. It makes me sad to think that, on the pic of their wedding, he doesn't look as happy as he looks in pics of us at a starbucks. God bless the poor kid, cause she also looks much younger than him.

In the last 12 hours I've been much better. I know what I want, I know what I deserve and I woke up laughing because of a dream where I was just gooffing around with three of my favourite giys in the world. I'm fine. This will be over sooner than I thought.

Thanks again, tigerlily!!!