the dictionary says a survivor is someone who lives through a situation - fire earth queake an attack and so on.

To me being a survivor goes beyond living through what ever traumatic event happened.

To me its not putting myself in the victim role anymore. saying ok I survived as in I lived through the actual event now I can choose what I want to d about it. I can stay stuck feeling like I am still back there going through the situation or I can do something to make my life better.

To me being a survivor is meeting each challenge that comes along and doing something aout that negative situation so that there is a positive in the situation. Basically looking at ok my child is in foster care to go through residential treatment facilities. emotionally yea theres a down side of this I miss my child but there is also a few positives - with him in residential Im dont being beat up, spit at, my crutches thrown in the nearby creek. Our cat isn't getting thrown agaist a wall because my child is upset that a neighbor won't accept his appology for his keeping them awake all night slamming his bedroom door because I locked up his bike so he could not use it in his active suicidal state of mind.

In every situation there is a negative and a positive. Being a victim means the person is not in control of what happens to them but being a survivor means the person can CHOOSE which - positive OR negative action they want to do.
If they choose positives then their life gets better if they choose negatives then they have the consequences that come with that.

you're daughter is a survivor and at the moment she has choosen a route where she probably hopes there will be a positive outcome. maybe those around here have told her they have changed and she right now wants to believe they have changed. only time will tell if they have or not. If they haven't she knows you are there for her so right now knowing she has you to catch her she is ready to explore options. and in adoption cases that exploration usually does involve the person trying to give the biological families the benefit of a second, third, fourth and so on chance.

hang in there She will be back but she is now an adult and so she must make her own choices good or bad and reap the rewards or consquences. and yes Unfortunately the baby is caught with those awards and consequenses too. hopefully the baby will be ok.