The older we get, the more opportunity we have to do things we regret . Dark melancholy evenings are dreadful for sitting and mulling over all the things we could have done better and what might have been the outcome instead. Specially if there is a glass of wine and some deep music involved! Funny thing was, when I was young I always imagined that things would get easier when I got older, and I never believed people who told me the opposite . Oh well, the only comfort is that we made the decision we thought best at the time. With hindsight and more maturity we can see that we could have done better, sure... but we have to forgive our younger selves. We might have not appreciated all we had, but we were not alone in that. There is no going back, there is only moving forward from this point. Don't beat yourself up over the past, Sam2.